So basically, what i've FINALLY realized was, that you cannot ! force something thats not their. Like what the hell ? Why'd i get so mad? he's not my man, so what if he canceled. idc? right?... I dont !? I guess that's like exactly what I needed. shiiii. Im so stupid, why the hell do I let him take control of my happiness? I should NOT do that, its been 3 weeks. im o v e r him. like i been done, so why the hell am I trying so hard to please him, and be his friend ? I DONT need that kinda shit on my back, then in return of my nice-ness he treats me like SHIT? "What the HELL chelci, are you dumb or something? Lettin a nigga do that to you? hell nawwww baby, Im too damn goon to let that kinda shit happen, ha! being friends "too soon" was a really bad idea on my part, I didn't need to be his friend that soon, i just wanted something to appear out of nowhere which i knew it wasnt ? So why'd i try so hard to bring back the past ? I'm no longer indecisive of what i want done with him. i already knoe, sometime apart. as anything. friends? associates? whatever. i dont need to talk to him, that way i won't be stupid and fall back under my deppression. or fuckin read "old chats" we used to have. cause thats exactly what the hell they are. OLD! i dont need this kinda stress over a boy, that doesnt give two fucks about me. i just need time alone, not alone. just no more relationships. besides.. im happier single. right ?
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